How Did We Get Here?
by Charlotte Punta
Summary: Bella and Edward are divorced but have a child together. Bella has custody but Edward gets him for three days a month. A year after the divorce both have second thoughts. Was it really the right decision? And is it too late fix their relationship?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Except Max, he's mine.

//

Chapter 1

EPOV

I left the ER at about 2 am and made my way to my car in the hospitals basement. Once again I had worked three hours overtime in my attempt at delaying having to go home. And don't get me wrong I loved my job but the thought of having to once again return to my empty one bedroom Seattle apartment really wasn't a comforting thought. All it did was remind me that I was alone and that she had left me. And taken my son with her.

I had thought I had it all. By twenty five I was married to the love of my life, had a beautiful son, a well paying job, a nice home and did I mention I was married to the love of my life?

Bella.

Beautiful Bella.

I never thought she would actually like me, little less _love _me. I mean she could've had anyone she wanted. Long brown hair, tall, skinny, deep brown eyes, flawless skin, in a word - gorgeous. She was the girl in high school that got asked to the prom by at least seven different guys, she was the girl the every other girl wanted to be. I however in high school was the guy that was lucky to be going to prom, I was the guy nobody wanted to be, and I was the guy nobody noticed.

I got to college first as I was a few years older than her. On her first day of college I was in charge of her tour group and the two of us hit it off immediately and it was long before we were the, "it couple" of the campus.

We ended up graduating together as her journalism major was shorter than my medical major and we didn't wait long after that to get married.

After we graduated the first thing I did was ask her to marry me and amazingly she said yes.

We were married the winter of 2002 and two months later she announced she was pregnant with our son.

Maybe we were too young to have so much but it didn't matter because we were together and happy. And to us our life was perfect.

Nine months later on the 20th of January 2004 she gave birth to Max Archer Cullen. 7 pounds 5 ounces. He had her eyes. And the small amount of hair on his head told us he would take after me in that department. He was perfect. She was perfect. My life was perfect and better than I ever imagined it could've been. And it remained perfect for two years.

We witnessed our son saying his first word. We saw him through his first birthday. Helped him with his first steps. I had thought we were so happy.

But then about four years after we were married the fighting started. It was just before Max's fourth birthday. And it was over stupid things. We never actually fought about anything real.

I'd left the seat up on the toilet

She had forgot to buy me something I wanted at the grocery store.

I'd gotten a movie she didn't like from the video store.

Soon we were finding any excuse to have a go at one another.

At the time I had thought it was just a faze, and that we would get over it. I knew that I still loved her even though I didn't say it as much anymore. And I had assumed she still loved me. Until one day while Max was at his grandparents she screamed at me, "I want a divorce".

That stopped me dead at whatever I was about to yell at her.

Divorce.

I had begged her to reconsider. I promised I could change. I told her that my life would be nothing without her. I pleaded that she not do this but she said it was too late. And before I knew what was happening we were in court in a fight to the death over everything we had ever owned or shared together.

Our house.

Our money.

Our furniture.

Our fridge.

But worst of all Max.

We were fighting over who would get my son. _Our _son. The one thing in this world that was an exact copy of the two of us. The one thing that still connected us.

We both fought hard for him, both of us believing that he was not better off with the other.

But she won.

The court believed that due to my abnormal working hours I was unfit to care for my son.

And that's how I got here, to my empty, lonely apartment, working even longer hours so that I could pretend that I was ok. But I wasn't, I knew I wasn't ok. How could I be ok? For the last year all I have done is work and work and wait for those three precious days a month that I got to see my son. And if I was honest with myself I waited to see her too. Even if the only thing she said to me was a short and polite greeting, it was worth it to once again hear her voice, to look into her eyes.

It broke my heart that I had let the best thing that ever happened to me slip away. I kick myself everyday thinking that I should have fought harder for her, I should have tried harder to be a good husband, I should have let her watch the movie she wanted, or worn the shirt she had picked out for me. Every night as I lie in bed trying to sleep I think about the things that would have made our marriage better. I try and pin point exactly where we went wrong and think about what could have been done. But I never can. So every night I go around in circles in my head.

But it's always the same question that enters my head before I fall asleep.

Does she think about this too?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Thanks for the reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

To answer lalaland91's question the story will be in alternate points of view, this one is in Bella's.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter Two

BPOV

Even though we hadn't slept together for almost a year and a half my arm automatically reached to other side of the bed for him when I woke up. He wasn't there.

A look at the clock told me it was 8.00am, as it was a Saturday I didn't have to get up for work however Max would be looking for breakfast soon which meant I didn't really have that much more time in bed.

Ten minutes later I walked downstairs to the kitchen of my town house which I shared with Max, to make my son some breakfast. As it was a Saturday I knew he would be demanding choc-chip pancakes so I decided to make them for him now, to save him the effort.

I was sliding the last pancake on to the plate when a very sleep ruffled four year old came walking into the kitchen.

"Morning, baby", I smiled at him.

Instead of replying to my greeting he grinned mischievously up at me.

"What ya making?" he asked, pretending he had no idea.

I played along replying, "oh, im just making myself some big, choc-chip pancakes."

Max looked up at me with big eyes and said, "they're for me aren't they?"

I looked at him and said, "I dunno, I'm really hungry today."

He walked towards me and climbed up onto the bar stool on the opposite side of the bench to me and leaned over to me. "Can we share?"

I laughed and pushed the plate towards him.

He smile and carefully picked up a pancake and took as big a bite as his nearly five year old mouth could take. He chewed and swallowed far too fast. "Tastes good, mommy."

Once he was finished I took his plate to the sink and while washing the dishes I said, "what do you want to do today, sweetie?"

"Daddy! Can we go and see daddy?"

I don't know why either of us bothered anymore. Every time I asked him what he wanted to do, he always replied that he wanted to see his father. And every time he asked me if we could I said no.

"We can't see daddy, Max. Besides you get to see him next week remember? Next week's the week you go stay with daddy for a few days."

"I know, but I really want to see him! And you always say no."

"I know, baby but we can't just call daddy now, he's probably already got plans for today." I walked around the bench to sit on the stool next to him. "How about we get ready and then we can go see Aunty Alice and Uncle Jasper today? Does that sound like fun? Then when we get home we can call daddy and you can talk to him."

I took Max into the bathroom and helped him have a bath, he was nearly old enough to do it himself now. Once he was all ready I set him down in front of the television and let him watch some cartoons while I got ready.

As I stood under the spray of the shower I started to wonder why I kept making excuses for Max not to see Edward. It's not that I couldn't see him; the two of us were quite civil around each other now. And I knew that Edward was a great father and that Max love spending time with him. But every time Max asked if we could visit him I said no. Why? Because by saying yes, I was giving in. I had won in court I had got my son for the majority of the time. And far be it for me to go against the courts ruling.

By the time I had finished my shower I had nearly convinced myself into letting Max go and see Edward, nearly but not quite. It was better for Max to have structure and the structure said that he couldn't see Edward till next week, who was I to argue with that?

//

Once the two of us were loaded in my car I called Alice from the road asking that it would be ok if we came for the day. Of course it was.

Alice had been my best friend since college there were absolutely no secrets between us and I loved her like a sister. We had seen each other through love, heartbreak, bad hair cuts, first kisses and sickness.

Alice had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the tender age of 18. Luckily it had been caught very early and fixed before the cancer could spread to any other place in her body. However it made her unable to conceive any of her own children. But as she still had her uterus she could get pregnant with her husband's sperm but with someone else's egg. After three attempts at IVF, however, she and Jasper decided it just wasn't meant to be.

Despite their childless situation you could tell they would make great parents. And they loved Max like he was their own. I could never figure out if they were more excited to see Max or if Max was more excited to see them. It was a very close call.

It was about an hour drive to get to Alice and Jasper's as they had decided on a suburban life in the preparation for children and had decided to stay despite the change in situation.

When I pulled into their driveway Max couldn't get out of the car fast enough, and was squirming in his seat when I went around to help him get out. I picked him up and put him down to stand next to me as I got my bag out of the back of the car, but picked up the wrong end meaning the entire contents fell out.

"Oh dear," I said as I put Max down so I could pick all my things off the back seat. I really wanted to use a much stronger word but you learn not to swear when you have a very influential four year old. Max helped me put everything back in my bag and I realised once again what a spitting image of his father he was.

Even at four his hair stuck out at all ends and despite the colour of his eyes they had the exact same sparkle that Edward's did.

I picked Max up and picked my bag up to hang over my shoulder but when I picked it up there was a small scare piece of paper under it. I picked it up and turned it over. It was a picture of Edward and me on my twenty first birthday.

His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as if he was never going to let me go, his face was kissing my neck and I could tell from the lines around his eyes that he was smiling. I had one hand over his on my stomach and the other reached up to wrap around his head holding him to me. I had my eyes closed and a smile on my face.

I remembered this picture being taken I remember feeling so, so happy and most of all I remember the things that Edward had been whispering in my ear. He had told me he loved me, and had been explaining in detail what he was going to do to me once we left the party. It was a good thing Max hadn't been born yet.

I don't know how long I stared at the picture before Max interrupted my thoughts, "what is it mommy?"

I stuffed the picture back in my bag and smiled at him, "nothing, baby, just an old photo. You ready to see Aunty Alice and Uncle Jasper?"

Without waiting for an answer I began walking towards the house. Alice opened the door before I could knock shouting, "Maxy! I missed you so much!"

"Aunty Alice!" Max said reaching his arms towards his God Mother.

Alice took him from me and gave me a kiss and a one armed hug whispering in my ear, "you look like you need something stronger than coffee."

I laughed nodding my head and followed them into the kitchen where Jasper was reading the newspaper. When he saw me he jumped up and gave me an almost too tight hug which was different from his usual kiss on the cheek. He looked down at my surprised expression, "you looked like you needed that," he explained with a smile.

He walked over to where Alice and Max were talking about something together and gave Max a high five and a hair ruffle. Alice whispered something in his ear and Jasper immediately sweeped a giggling Max on to his shoulders and off into the living room.

Alice looked at me and grinned as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers.

I laughed, "it's a bit early isn't it Alice?"

"It's nearly lunch time besides, you look like you could use it."

"I think you know me too well Alice Whitlock."

"And I think I know you just the right amount of well," she said with a smile. "Now what's the matter, honey? You seemed dazed when you first got here."

I sighed, explaining to Alice what I had found in the car. "I found an old picture of me and Edward, you know the one at my twenty first?" I looked up at Alice before I continued, "and I guess I was just wondering what the hell happened."

The next question Alice asked me was the reason I didn't discuss my divorce with anyone. "Are you sure you did the right thing Bella?"

I breathed out heavily in frustration, "did I do the right thing?! Ali of course I did. How would it have been better for my son to see us fighting all the time? How would have been better for him living in an environment where his parents yelled more than they talked?"

"I know, I know. It's just sometimes when you talk about him, you seem like you still love him." She said carefully.

"Look," I said, feeling bad for letting go the way I did. "There's a part of me that will always love him, he was my first love and kiss, my first everything. And you never forget your first love, but I think we just out grew each other. "I picked up my beer and took a long sip from it. "It's like we were the perfect couple in college and everybody expected us to get married, so we did. I don't even know who we did it for anymore, if it was because we actually wanted to get married or because all our friends and family wanted us to."

I looked up at Alice waiting to see what she would say next, what she did say surprised me. "I think your right."

"What?"

"I think your right, I think you did rush into marriage and I think everyone did expect you to. But really, Bells if your honest with yourself, didn't you want to marry him too? I've never in my life seen two people as in love as you two were. So you can't tell me that there wasn't a big part of you that wanted him too." She paused to take a drink. "Look I understand why you got the divorce, but you can't tell me you didn't want to get married, because I won't believe you."

Funny thing about Alice was that she was usually right.

Max and I stayed there all day it's amazing how the four of us really enjoyed each other's company. And it was good for Max to get away from home for a bit.

By Seven o'clock I packed up a very sleepy Max into the car to begin the drive back to Seattle.

When we got home and I was tucking him into bed he rolled over and mumble, "I want to call daddy."

"Not now, baby you can do it tomorrow, " but he was already asleep. I kissed his head and whispered, "I love you," before turning the light off and leaving the room.

Just before I shut the door I heard a very quiet,"I love you too."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 3

EPOV

I woke up to the sound of my alarm buzzing. Usually this sound was the bane of my existence however today I welcomed it as today was the first of the three days that I got my son. I rolled out of bed by 9.00 and was dressed and ready by 9.30.

I wasn't meant to pick Max up till 10.30 but it took me half an hour to get to Bella's and I decided to get some coffee on the way.

I pulled up outside their house at about 10.20 and decided that she could live with me being 10 minutes early.

I knocked on the door, which was opened immediately by a very excited child.

I reached down and swiped him up in my arms at the same time that he yelled, "Daddy! I missed you."

I looked into to his eyes that were an exact copy of his mothers and smiled. "Aw, Max I missed you too."

Just as I walked into the living room with Max, Bella walked out of her bedroom, "Max you better put your shoes on before-"she stopped when she saw me. "Oh you're here early."

She looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair freshly washed fell loosely around her shoulders. She wore a tank top and athletic shorts, which in my opinion made her entirely indecent as it showed off her too perfect legs.

"Only by a few minutes," I replied.

"Right, Max why don't you go and put your socks and shoes on and decide what toys you want to take to daddy's with you." She said looking at our son.

"Ok mommy," said Max squirming out of my arms and running toward his room.

And then it got awkward.

I wondered for the millionth time how I got here with the women that used to know everything about me, and I knew everything about.

I smiled best I could, "how are you?"

"I'm good, I guess. How are you?" she asked walking into the kitchen. She tried to find something to do to break up the awkwardness. She settled for wiping the already spotless bench.

"I'm ok," I lied.

She stopped wiping and looked up at me, "look I wanted to talk to you. Um you know that Max's birthday is in a couple of weeks and I was thinking that we could have a birthday party here for him."

I took a seat opposite her on one of the stools, nodding. "Who did you want to invite?"

It wasn't as bad now, Max was the one thing we still had in common, we could talk about this subject easily.

"Well I was thinking, you and me and Rose and Em and Alice and Jasper and maybe some of his friends from play group."

"Max has a play group?" I asked, and I realised once again how much I was missing of my son's life.

"Yeah he started a few weeks ago. He really loves it."

I smiled, looking up at her, "good that's good. And the party sounds like a great idea."

At that moment Max walked back in his feet still bare but his arms full of toys.

Bella looked at Max with a bewildered expression, "Max, do you remember what I asked you to do in your room?"

Max nodded, "you asked me to get the toys I wanted to take to daddy's."

"And to put on your shoes remember?"

"Oh yeah," Max said looking guilty.

Bella walked over and took his hand, "come on I'll help you put them on." And with that they walked out of the room leaving me by myself in the kitchen.

I looked around the small living area, looking at the large bookcase that was filled with Bella's favourite books and then across to the mantel piece that held a few pictures of Max at various stages of his short life. Once I had finished my visual tour of the space my eyes rested on the bench where I sat. Next to where Bella's bag was sitting was a picture I never thought I'd see again, especially in this house. I didn't even remember it being taken until this moment.

It was a picture of me and Bella on her 21st birthday. I picked it up and stared at it remembering the night. Bella walked back into the room without Max. She looked at me before speaking, "Max decided he wanted to put his own shoes on, I just hope he can remember his left from-"

She stopped when she saw me holding the photo. I carefully put it down where I had found it, "this is my favourite picture of us you know."

She smiled and nodded, "yeah it was a good night."

"And good times," I muttered under my breath. I didn't mean for her to hear, but she did.

"Yes, they were."

I looked at her in surprise and then my expression saddened, "what happened to us Bells?"

She looked at me with the same expression I thought I had on my face. She opened her mouth to say something when a very proud two year old walked in the room wearing his shoes.

I looked at Bella one last time before standing up and clapping my hands together, "ready to go sport?"

Max nodded his head eagerly and ran toward me.

I bent down and whispered in his ear, "why don't you go and give your mommy a big hug? And don't forget to tell her you love her."

With that Max walked over to Bella and did what I told him.

How I wished I could have done the same.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 4

BPOV

Once Max and Edward had left, I looked around at my now empty home. I never knew what to do on the three days I didn't have my son. I always tried to fill the time but always ended up counting the time till I would have him back.

I did have work to do, my column for the Seattle times was due the next morning and I hadn't started it yet. That would keep me busy for a good majority of the day and seemed like a good option to fill the time.

I went into the kitchen and made myself a coffee, then proceeded into my room where my desk was. As I set to work on my column, my mind involuntarily wondered to Edward.

As much as I hated to admit it, I was as attracted to him now as I was when we first started going out. And when he had walked in today wearing gym shorts and a wife beater I had to forcibly stop my eyes from wondering down his body. And he had been so kind and polite just like before we were married, it made me think about how different he was throughout his marriage to me.

Max had looked so happy as he walked out the door with Edward that it made me ask myself a question that no mother ever wants to ask themselves.

Was I a bad mother?

If I denied my son something that obviously made him happy, was I a bad mother?

In the past year I had never once questioned the custodial arrangements regarding my son. But now I wasn't so sure. And despite the fact that I didn't love Edward anymore I certainly didn't hate him and I still in a way cared for him, the happiest years of my life were spent with the man. So was I a bad person for denying two people that I cared about something that made them unconditionally happy?

If you had asked me this question a year ago I would have said, no, that I was doing the right by having custody of Max. But now my answer to that question changed, yes I was a bad person for not allowing them to see each other as often as they wanted.

And I was going to set out to change.

//

I finished my column around 7.00 and sent it off to my editor, I then walked into the kitchen and decided to make some dinner. Between writing my column and thinking about Edward I hadn't eaten all day, and now felt very hungry.

I went to the fridge and retrieved ingredients for pasta. I made my meal and sat down in front of the TV to eat.

I turned in early that night as there really wasn't anything else to do. The last thought I had was that Edward and Max would be seeing each much more in the future and that I wasn't going to keep father from son any longer.

I slept better than I had in months.


	5. AUTHORS NOTE

Okayyyy, theres been some confusion about Max's age.

Sorry this is my fault!

Originally when I started writing the story I wanted Max to be two but then changed my mind and made him four. So I went back through what I had written and changed the age but I obviously missed a bit, thankyou to **twlight tink **for pointing this out to me.

However in chapter two it said Max was putting food in his **nearly **five year old mouth, not his five year old mouth.

In chapter three Bella mentions Max's birthday is in a couple of weeks, thats when he will turn five.

Sorry again!

Hope your enjoying the story otherwise :)

- Charlotte


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 5

EPOV

I was standing in the kitchen on the last day that I got my son waiting patiently for him to get out of bed. He was due back at Bella's at one o'clock and it was 8.10 now which meant any minute he would be walking out. Just as I finished my coffee my son walked into the room looking as beautiful as ever, even with his eyes half shut.

"Morning sport," I greeted him. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Choc-chip pancakes!" he said excitedly.

"Sorry kid, I dunno how to make them," I smiled at him apologetically, "but how about you have some Lucky Charms and we can get some ice-cream and go for a walk before you go home?"

I hated the fact that my son's home wasn't my home. It just seemed completely wrong to me.

Max agreed to my compromise and once he had had his breakfast I got him and myself ready and we were out the door by 10.30.

I took him for a walk around a big park near where my apartment was. Between stopping to look at people and dogs and other things that entertain kids it took us a whole hour before we got around the park. This gave us just enough time to get Max his promised ice cream before he had to be home.

When I arrived at Bella's house she opened the door looking rather nervous and excited at the same time, it made me wonder what she was thinking about.

"Hi you guys," she greeted cheerfully. She bent down to hug Max, "did you have a good time baby?"

"Yes," Max replied nodding his head eagerly.

"That's good, why don't you go play in your room for a bit? I need to talk to your daddy about something."

With that Max went off to his room leaving me and Bella alone in the entry way.

"Do you want to sit down, there's something I want to discuss with you," she said walking toward the sitting area.

I refused to let myself believe she was going to ask to get back together I couldn't deal with the disappointment.

We both sat on the couch but when our legs touched we both simultaneously shot to different ends. It amazed me how much power her touch still had over me.

She twisted her hands in her lap and laughed nervously, her cheeks slightly red. She looked so innocent and vulnerable and beautiful. However her reaction was making me nervous as to what she wanted to talk about.

"Um I was thinking, that....um maybe....you know because you and Max always....and because I trust you....not that I didn't before....arrgh im saying this all wrong." She said shaking her head.

I reached across and broke our no touch policy by gently placing my hand on her knee. She gasped at the contact and I smiled internally thinking that maybe I affected her as much as she affected me. "Whatever you have to say Bells it can't be that bad, just say it."

She smiled slightly, "well I was thinking that maybe you would like to have Max more often than you have been. It's just that I know it makes you both so happy to be together," she looked up at me with big brown eyes, "and I don't think I have the will to keep you two away from each other anymore."

She opened her mouth to ramble some more but to stop her I removed my hand from her knee and took her face between my hands. I looked her straight in the eyes grinning madly, "are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious, you're so good with him," she replied tenderly.

I couldn't believe this sudden turn in her attitude, but I welcomed it. I don't have an idea as to how long I held her face in my hands looking into her eyes, but before I could stop myself I started to lean in. My lips gently met hers for the first time in over a year, and it felt incredible. What was even more amazing was that she reacted, her lips moving with mine and what began as a tender kiss quickly turned into something much more serious. My tongue ran gently over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth for me, my tongue met hers and I couldn't control the moan that left my throat.

That seemed to wake her up, she suddenly realised what she was doing and broke the kiss immediately. "What are you doing?!" she said standing up abruptly. "How could you just kiss me like that? You...you can't just do that!"

I looked up at her calmly from where I was sitting, "you kissed me back," I said before standing as well. To make my point I stepped as close as I could to her and leaned in till my lips were an inch from hers, leaving it to her to make the last move.

She nearly did, and just as her lips were about to meet mine she pulled back and moved a step away from me, "we can't do this." She said before walking to the hall and calling our son back, "Max come and say goodbye to your daddy!"

I walked over to her and gently took her wrist, "Bella, we have to talk about..."

"We don't need to talk about anything Edward, it was a mistake that's all ok?" then she went back to the cold mask she seemed to save just for me. "So you're ok to get here next week for Max's birthday?"

I shook my head, "you know that's all organised Bella, don't try and change the subject."

"What subject Edward? What exactly do you want to talk about?"

"Bells, that kiss, can't you admit we still have feelings for each other?"

She shook her head and looked at me, "no, I can't, it was nothing, I shouldn't have let it happen."

"How can you be so naive abou-"

"I'm not acting naive Edward, you are if you think one kiss means everything's going to be ok; we can't go back to how we were. We were no good for each other and definitely not for Max." She walked into the kitchen and started to place some dishes into the sink. "Now I will call you during the week to discuss Max's new schedule and I'll see you on Saturday for his birthday."

She started to walk away from me but I grabbed her arm, "you may think that you don't love me anymore Bells, but im pretty sure you do. So don't think I'm going to give up on us."

She laughed a bitter laugh, "it's a bit late now telling me you're not going to give up on us Edward, a year after we signed the divorce papers."

She walked back to the hall and called again, "Max, daddy's leaving now! Come and say goodbye!"

A moment later a four year old came running at me full speed I picked him up in a hug, "I'll see you soon Maxy ok?"

"Ok daddy," he said putting his arms around my neck for a final hug.

Max went back to his room and Bella walked me to the door.

"Bye, Edward," she said in a tone that wasn't exactly friendly.

I smiled down at her and just before she shut the door, I reminded her; "I'm not giving up, Bella." And then the door shut.

I left her house in the most jubilant state. The fact that she had changed her mind about custody told me she might be changing her mind about me. It was the first time in the past year I actually had hope that we might be able to be together. The kiss had made me realise that she still had feelings for me and it also made me realise that I had even stronger feelings for her than I originally thought. The whole experience had left me feeling happier than I had in a very long time.


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 6

BPOV

I was standing in the kitchen cleaning up some of the dishes during Max's fifth birthday party. So far it had been a great day, we had a few friends of Max's here and also Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett. Of course Edward was there and the two of us were still awkward around each other after the kiss a few days before. But Max was having a great time and that was what mattered. Today was his day.

I was standing at the sink scrubbing the plates that had held Max's favourite meal; lasagne. The problem was that it was the most difficult thing to remove from the china. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and from the smell I knew exactly who it was.

Unexpectedly I felt Edward's arm wrap around my waist and his other hand came down to help me scrub the dish.

My breathing became heavy as I asked, "what are you doing?"

I felt him smile as he answered, "I thought you might need some help."

He continued to scrub the dish his fingers entwined with mine on the scrubbing brush. His chin came down to rest on my shoulder as I felt the fingers of his other hand start to play with the hem of my shirt and before I knew it they were drawing lazy circles on my stomach. I involuntarily let my eyes close as my head fell back to lean against his shoulder.

"Enjoying yourself hey, Bells?"

That woke me up to what I was doing. I was standing in my kitchen, on my son's birthday slowly but surely falling for the one man I definitely should not fall for; my ex husband. I quickly dropped the brush as pulled myself away from Edward so that we were on opposite sides of the kitchen. "You need to stop doing that, Edward."

"Why? Why do I need to stop doing that? Bella it's been a year and neither of us have ever tried to date anybody else. I don't see why we shouldn't be together, we were young I know and we made some pretty stupid mistakes, but – " he stopped taking a deep breath. He took a step toward me and took me by the shoulders, "don't you see Bella, I'm still in lo- "

"Don't say that."

"Don't say what? That I'm in love with you? Sorry, I can't lie to you anymore. I am in love with you Bella. I was in love with you the day I met you, I was in love with you the day I married you, hell, I was in love with you the day you asked me for a divorce! And I am standing here now still in love with you!

Bella I don't want to wake up alone any more, I want to wake up with you next to me, I want to wake up to feel you in my arms. I want the last thing I do every day to be giving you a kiss. I want our family to be a family again and I don't want to have to wait for the last three days of every month to see my son."

I turned away from him and said something I'm not sure was a lie or the truth, "I don't, I don't want to wake up with you everyday Edward. And I told you we can change the custody so that-"

"Jesus Bella! I don't want to change the custody! I don't want to have to worry about custody! I want us to be a family, to live under the same roof! I Lo-"

"Don't say it again!"

"Why Not?!"

"Because I don't love you!" As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were a lie but I couldn't back done now, it was too late. I'd already said too much.

Edward stepped toward me and brought his lips nearly to mine. "Yes. You. Do. And I am going to do whatever it takes to make you realise it." With that he walked out of the kitchen and back into the party.

//

Once everybody had left, Alice and I stood in the kitchen cleaning the dishes. As it was an hour drive Alice and Jasper had decided to stay the night here, much to the delight of Max. Max and Jasper were in the living room playing with Max's new train set which he had received from Edward.

I looked at the clock and realised it was time my son got to bed. "Come on Max, baby, it's time for bed."

"Just five more minutes."

"I gave you five more minutes and hour ago, now go brush your teeth please."

He walked off with defeated expression as I followed him to the bathroom. He dutifully brushed his teeth and then walked back out to the living room to say goodnight to Alice and Jasper. When I finally had him in bed I lay next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Did you have a good birthday, honey?"

"Mmhmm." He nodded sleepily into my shoulder.

"What did you wish for on your cake?" I asked genuinely curious.

Max shook his head, "I can't tell you coz it won't come true if I do."

And with that he was asleep. I slid away from him and placed a kiss on his forehead. I turned out his light and quietly left the room.

I walked back out to where Alice and Jasper were to find that Alice had fallen asleep in Jasper's lap. I motioned that they could take my bed, Jasper smiled gratefully and stood picking up Alice and walking down the hall.

I finished cleaning the house then went to the cupboard and brought out a pillow and some blankets for me to sleep on the couch with.

//

Five hours later I still hadn't had a wink of sleep. All I could do was replay the scene in the kitchen over and over in my head. The things that had been said- and the realisation that he was right.

I_ was_ still in love with him. I didn't think I ever wouldn't be. And with that I knew what I had to do.

I scrawled a quick letter to Alice which I left on the kitchen bench telling her where I was going and that I might not be back till morning. I told her to look after Max and that I would call in the morning.

I grabbed a coat and my keys and was out the door. It was pouring when I got out side and I was drenched by the time I made it to my car. I drove to the apartment I had only been to once in my life and I prayed I knew where I was going and that I had the right number. I parked my car outside his block and ran inside getting even wetter before I hit shelter. I ran up the too many flights of stairs till I got to his apartment. I stood there for about a minute before I began banging furiously on the door.

He opened wearing nothing but navy blue boxers. "Bella, what are you-"

"I lied, today. I am in love with you. I'm so in love with you it hurts. I want to wake up with you every morning, I want-"

I was cut off by Edward's lips moving furiously with mine. I responded immediately wrapping my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss. Edward shut the door and pushed me up against it, once he had removed my coat – leaving me in a tank top pyjama bottoms and my sneakers, all of which were soaked - he lifted me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist. He walked us like this to his bedroom, once inside he kicked the door shut.

He sat me on the bed and knelt down to remove my shoes and socks, he kissed each of my ankles as he did this. He then came up to kneel in between my legs, I lent down to kiss him again and wondered how I had all this time without his kisses. As we kissed he placed his hands on my knees slowly moving them up my thighs to rest on my hips. He then lifted my top over my head leaving me in just my pyjama bottoms.

I grinned against his lips, "what?" he mumbled never loosing the connection between our mouths.

I began kissing down his neck, "we much," I said against the skin between his neck and shoulder, referring to what we both wearing.

He didn't reply. Instead he picked me up by my hips and pushed me up so that my head was resting on his pillow. It smelled just like him. Came to rest on top of me and kissed me again, before kissing down my neck, my chest, I let a moan escape when I felt his lips and the tip of his tongue at my hip bone.

He pulled my pants and underwear down at the same time leaving me completely exposed to him. I felt his lips at my inner thigh before he moved up my body once more.

He came to rest in between my legs, as our mouths joined once more. I brought my hands down his chest and rested at the rim of his boxers. I couldn't reach to get them off him and Edward chuckled at my obvious frustration.

He stood up and removed the final thing that was separating us. He settled back between my legs, "are you still on the pill?" he asked.

I just nodded.

And then he was inside me again for the first time in what felt like forever.

I let my head roll back on the pillow as I marvelled at the familiar but somehow new sensation. It felt right, I felt like I belonged here, with him. It was like nothing in the world mattered except the two of us. I moved my head to look him in the eyes and I realised that he felt the exact same way.

When we finished Edward collapsed on to me burying his face in between my neck and my shoulder. He kissed me there, "God, I love you so much."

I turned my head and kissed his now sweaty hair, "I love you too, Edward, forever."

And so began our long night of reunion. We re-learnt every part of each other's bodies, neither leaving any part unkissed, or untouched.

We finally fell asleep about 6.30am, my head on Edward's chest his arm wound tightly around my waist, and this time I knew he would never let go.


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 7

EPOV

I woke up the next day – from the best night sleep I had had in God knows how long – to the feeling of kisses being placed down my spine. I then felt a small hand reach around middle to begin drawing patterns on my chest. "I know you're awake," she said never stopping her kisses on my back.

I rolled over so that I was facing Bella with my arms around her. Sometime after we had fallen asleep and before I had woken up Bella had found one of my shirts and was now wearing it. Her hair was a mess from getting wet in the rain and drying in bed. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, as they always seemed to be and she was the most beautiful, sexy thing I had ever seen.

"Good morning, baby," I said placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

She buried her head in my chest, "mm, it sounds good to have you call me that again. I love you."

"And it sounds good to hear you say that again. I love you too." I turned my head to look at the clock, it was 9. "Shit! Max!"

"Don't worry, I called Alice this morning her and Jasper are going to take Max home with them for a night." She looked up at me suggestively, she punctured every word in her next sentence with a kiss down my neck, "so," kiss, "we," kiss, "have," kiss, "a whole," She looked up at me from the center of my chest where she had placed her last kiss, "24 hours together."

She rolled me on my back and sat up to straddle my hips. She removed my shirt and bent down to lay kisses on every part of my chest.

We didn't get out of bed for a _very _long time.

//

At 3 in the afternoon, Bella pulled herself from my arms to go and have a shower. I complain, arguing that the shower shouldn't have all the fun.

I lay in bed thinking about how much had changed in a 24 hour period. It had gone from Bella still hating me to having her back in my arms, and this I was not going to let her slip away. I had forgotten what it was like to hold, to feel her moving under me, the hear her say my name. It felt amazing, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let her go again.

Ten minutes later I decided that she had had enough alone time and walked into the bathroom. I pulled back the shower curtain and stepped in. I stood behind her and put my arm around her, taking the soap from her hand. I moved it up her stomach and chest and over her should as I started to wash and massage her back. I started to kiss her neck and her head fell back on my shoulder much like it had the previous day however this time she stayed there.

We took turns washing each other and half an hour later we emerged from the bathroom, clean and hungry.

I took Bella into the kitchen; she was wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers of mine, a sight that made me very proud.

I picked her up and sat her on the bench, "what do you want to eat?"

"What have you got?"

I walked toward the fridge and opened it, "umm."

She laughed and walked over to me, "how about I find something to make and _you _sit down and wait, you never were much of a cook."

And with that Bella started pulling out ingredients to make what appeared to be pasta.

15 minutes later Bella was standing at the stove stirring something. I went up and stood behind her laying kisses along her neck and helping her stir the pasta sauce.

She giggled and moved away from me, "if you start up with that we'll never eat."

"Fine," I said and went to sit back down.

We stood eating the pasta in the kitchen, when Bella asked the question I knew was coming, "so what do we do now?"

I looked at her worried expression and decided to make light of the situation, "well I think we finish this and then I drag you straight back into the bedroom, we still have lost time to make up for."

"You know what I mean Edward," she took our plates to the sink, "what do we do now, about us?" She turned towards me leaning back on the sink, "I mean do we tell Max straight away, that we're back together? He's going to start wondering why you're suddenly around at the house a lot more, and why I'll be here more."

"He's a kid Bella, he can adapt, I think it's just up to us what we want to do." I pulled myself up to sit on the bench and reached for Bella to pull her to stand between my legs.

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, "what do you want to do?" she asked.

I smiled gently, "if it was up to me I'd start packing now and move into your place by the end of the day. But I understand if that's too fast for you."

"I'd love that too Edward but I think that might be a bit confusing for Max, I mean if suddenly we're all over each other and happy after a year of barely speaking," she looked down, not sure what to say.

I took her face between my hands, "look, how about we have a dinner at your house tonight, just the three of us and talk to max about how he would feel about us all living together again? Then we can maybe think about moving back in together in a month or so." I tilted my head to look at her, "what do you think?"

"I think you're too perfect, and I can't believe ever let you go," she smiled sadly.

"We can't change the past, Bells, we can only work with what we've got right now, and right now we have each other." I placed a gentle kiss on her lips and jumped off the bench.

Bella squealed when I lifted her up bridal style and moved back towards the bedroom.

And just like that my life felt right again, finally.


End file.
